Summer is almost over, and I could not be more excited to start my sophomore year of college. As my friends and family may know, I have been stuck in a dorm all summer in Nashville, with no family or friends, and things have definitely not been the easiest. But being here alone for three months has seriously taught me some valuable life lessons that I am truly grateful for.
For years, I have struggled with anxiety, and being here has not been the easiest transition. Especially since I was supposed to be home in Oklahoma, living with my family, rekindling friendships with my high school pals...but things are so much different here. I honestly do not do much during a typical summer day in Nashville. I go to work and come home. I'm taking classes three days a week, but when I'm not at work or in class, what am I doing? Nothing.
Having really nothing to do has helped me think a lot about my life and what I want in the world and in my future. Before this summer, I was just living day by day, not really focusing on what the future has to offer for me. But now I have learned that each action should potentially be benefiting me in some way.
Being here has also showed me who the most important people are in my life. Since I am living on campus, most of my friends live far away, and being here has proven to me who all I am important to. I am the type of person who is always loving more and who is always more invested in all types of relationships, but now I have learned that if someone misses you and is thinking about you, they will let you know and reach out to you. I honestly am truly grateful because I have learned that the people who I value and reach out to, sometimes are not the people who care about me. It has taught me to stop wasting time with the people in my life that do not genuinely care about me. During the school year, I really missed a lot of my high school friends, but now I realized that most of them were just friends out of convenience. It is definitely nice to know who my true friends really are, and if I weren't here this summer, I still would have been holding onto those unhealthy relationships that were just dangling by a thread.
I have also learned a lot about myself. The overall hardest thing about being in a college dorm alone is not having any food or ways to get food, so I have to make do. I have been living off breakfast bagels from my mini fridge and ramen noodles. I have a full time job which has taught me how to value and save my money. I am about to start clinicals this upcoming school year, so I had to go to a lot of doctor's appointments and background checks without my mom to support me. I feel like I have just grown up a lot these past few months, or as some people would call it, "adulting." I also appreciate things that I would always take for granted, like having a kitchen, or not having to walk four flights of stairs to get to your bedroom, and even family.
The reason I am posting this blog is not because I want anyone to feel bad for me, because I honestly hate when people pity me. But it's a lot deeper than that. I want people to know that during hard times, there is always good out of it. If I weren't here for the summer, I would not have discovered all of these things about me that I now appreciate.
The first few months of being here were definitely the hardest. I felt like I had barely any communication from the outside world, and I was too lonely and embarrassed to go out and do things alone in Nashville. During those months, I felt like my life was worthless, and I felt like I had no point in the world. But now that summer is ending soon, I have realized how important being positive and keeping a positive attitude during hard and lonely times really is. I really value this time I have had here because I have learned more about myself in just these few months than I have ever learned in my entire life. Even though it's been hard, I am truly thankful. Things only get easier and easier.
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